Quick Thinking
by N.V.9
Summary: Ever have one of those customers that just doesn't understand you're not interested? COMPLETE


**Look toward profile/bio for disclaimer and anything else involving this story. **

Deidara tried not to cringe or gag. He did all he could to smile and pretend that he was the happy guy behind the counter selling coffee at the little shop called 'Drinks!', the only place that sold anything from coffee to lemonade to pop and so on, in town.

It was his first day working here at his cousin's shop. Heck, when he moved here, he wanted to start a new life and get away from the on-again-off-again relationship routine and annoying ex's. He wanted a new start and to go some place that he knew nobody. So when his cousin called him to work in his shop while he went on vacation, Deidara had jumped at the chance.

He packed everything up that was of use and left behind anything he deemed unnecessary before hightailing it out of that big city and into a slightly smaller one. Of course, once his cousin came back he wasn't sure if he'd stay here or go.

But if all customers were like this guy, he was packing his bags the first chance he got. Maybe he'd leave without the bags. He really didn't need clothes and money. He'd survive... maybe.

"So Sasori is gone for how long again?" The new annoyance in his life tried to smile... sexy? Is that what he was going for? If so, he was way off his mark. That smile was more creepy than anything else.

Heck the guy himself was creepy. He was close to seven feet tall, well defined, meaning way too much muscle and not enough brains, sharp teeth that looked like they belonged on an animal rather than a human, and his hair was in need of a decent conditioner. Deidara was almost tempted to go get his from home.

"Two weeks," he answered the giant beedy-eyed man as he handed him his coffee.  
"I see, well tell me," at this the man paused to read his quickly made name tag, "Deidara, why did you move out to our little part of the world?"

"Well..."  
"Kisame,"

"Kisame, I," What could be a good excuse to move halfway across the country? "came because my boyfriend lives over here." Maybe he should have said fiancee? Boyfriends were easily replaced and exchanged.

"Boyfriend?" Kisame said blinking quickly.

"Yes, my boyfriend. Met him in college and fell hard. He lives here and when I went home, I missed him so much that when he asked me to come live with him, I said yes. I think he might propose." Halfway engaged was good right? It meant he was on the verge of being taken off the market didn't it?  
"Propose? What makes you say that?" Kisame asked with a frown replacing his creepy smile.

"Because last night he took me out for dinner and he was talking about our future. I just love him so much. He's my one and only." Did he look the part he was playing? "I mean, I moved here for him and everything and he treats me like a queen." Was he over playing his part?

"What if he's only using you?" Kisame asked coming back with another grin that said 'I'm still in this', "You'll need someone there for you and what a better person then your first friend?"

"You're sweet, but I don't think he's going to break my heart. I already met his family and everything. His mother and I are already planning the wedding. I just need the ring."

"I thought you said he hadn't proposed?" Kisame asked starting to look suspecious.

Crap! "Well, I think he finally is, but I know someday we'll get married. His mother and I agree and we are planning ahead. He has yet to tell me no on anything and has even put in his preferrances." Oh he was good, mental pat on the back. "Drink is $5.25."

Kisame reached into his wallet and pulled out a fifty. "Maybe he's one of those men that has no backbone?" he said desperately.

"Please, my baby cakes is the man of men. He's not afraid of anything," at that point he noticed three guys walking toward his shop and another light bulb went off. "In fact there he is," he pointed to the group of guys. Two of them were automatically a couple if the tan arm around the younger raven's shoulders said anything. Heck, the raven himself was wrapped around the blonde's waist. The third male walked ahead of them with a phone in hand. "Hey baby!" Deidara said when they walked in.

The lead male, lifted a brow at this as the two behind him looked from Deidara to the their companion, who had to have been related to the younger raven, and then Kisame, who was in the process of glaring at the solo male.

"Hello," the guy answered when Deidara grin became more strained.

"I told you I don't go on break for another hour," when Kisame continued to try and stare the man down, Deidara pointed his head slightly toward the man, trying to show them he needed help.

To his surprise it was the fellow blonde that came to his rescue. "You know how Itachi is, he can't stand to be away from you."

At that Itachi turned to face the blonde.

"Isn't that right, Itachi?"

"I suppose," Itachi answered with his face completely blank of all emotion as he put his phone in his pocket.

"Hmmm, are you sure this is the guy you want to spend the rest of your life with?" Kisame asked looking down his nose at Itachi.

"Of course I do," Deidara answered quickly as he moved around the counter, squeezed passed Kisame, and then latched on to Itachi. Wrapping his arms around the slightly taller raven's neck as Itachi wrapped an arm around his waist automatically, he whispered, "Play along," he then smiled back at Kisame. "We're the loves of each others lives."

"Yeah, you can't keep these two off each other," the other blonde went on as he let go of the younger raven and moved forward. "These two can't go a day without seeing eachother and not want to tear the others clothes off, isn't that right Sasuke?"

"Yeah, it's disgusting." The younger raven answered. "We'll be minding our own business and the next thing we know they're going at it like rabbits."

Pretending to whisper something in Itachi's ear, Deidara glared at Sasuke who only smirked and went on, "I'm kind of surprised that they aren't on one of the tables right now. Remember the last time Naruto?"

"Good thing it wasn't here, but I'm never eating off the kitchen table. I'm surprised Itachi lets him out of the house." Naruto grinned as Deidara flushed. Maybe he was better off with Kisame. It seems these two were turning him into a sex crazed lunatic.  
Fixing a sheepish smile on his face, Deidara turned to face Kisame, "It's love." he then went on to kiss Itachi on the cheek, or that was his intention.

Before he knew it, he was locking lips with the raven in a heated kiss. Tongues switched mouths and saliva mixed. Completely out of breath and face flushed, Deidara tried to think clearly as he pulled back, only to notice a smirk on Itachi's face. When the older raven turned to Kisame he said, "Not that I don't mind this converstation, but I am a very jealous and possessive man. I don't mind proving my claim by using force, nor do I fear getting dirty. Blood comes right out of my clothes with the right stuff."

Without another word, Kisame grabbed his coffee and marched out the door.

"Hey! What about your change?"

"Keep it!" The man growled as the door slammed shut behind him.

"Awesome," Deidara smirked and pulled away from Itachi. Moving behind the counter he put the amount needed away and pocketed the rest. "If I knew coffee shops made bank in tips, I would have opened my own." turning to his three new customers he grinned, "Oh, thanks for the help, been trying to get rid of that guy for ten minutes. I'm pretty sure he memorized 'Bad Pick-up Lines for Dummy's'. Heck I think he invented a few himself. Kind of creative..." shaking his head he sighed dramatically, "Poor guy. Itachi was it? I hope you don't mind if I use your name agian in the future. I'd hate for Kisame, that guy, to think that I'm a Lovepire."  
"Lovepire?" Naruto questioned.

"Yeah, like vampire but where the vamp lives off blood, I'd live off love." Deidara explained. "Besides I don't think every guy that will walk in will play along. Might even risk Sasori his customers... Speaking of which, what can I get for you?"

"Two coffee's, black, and one cherry lemonade." Naruto said. "By the way I'm Naruto, that's Sasuke and his older single brother Itachi."

"Deidara," Deidara shook the blonde's hand and then went back to getting their order.

"Where's Sasori?" Sasuke asked taking a sip of his coffee once Deidara handed both coffees over.

"Vacation, I'm watching the shop for him until he comes back." Deidara answered and placed the lemonade in front of Naruto.

Before Naruto could voice whatever he was going to say, Itachi pulled out his wallet, "Why don't you two wait for me by the car." he ordered instead of asked.  
With smirks in place, Naruto wrapped an arm around Sasuke and lead him away. When they were gone, Itachi turned to face Deidara.

"Listen, I know I should have asked but I was desparate." Deidara said quickly before Itachi could sue him. "If I had to spend another five minutes with that guy, I would have pulled my hair out. I'm sure he was staring at my ass when I made him his coffee. Half the things he wanted in it were kind of gross and on the top shelf. You know, the things no one actually ask for." Deidara said with glare at the door as if Kisame was right there. "So I apologise for using you like that and-"  
"I don't mind." Itachi cut him off and watched as Deidara rang him up and took the money handed to him. "In fact, use me all you want."  
"You don't mind?" Deidara asked surprised.

"No, to be honest, I'd like to ask you to dinner tonight." Itachi asked. "If you prefer, I think I can make up a pick-up line or two-"

"No!" Deidara said quickly and then blushed as Itachi chuckled, "If you use a pick-up line on me, I'll toss this coffee on you."

"Then I'll avoid them... so about dinner? I promise I'm not a perv or the sex crazed lunatic that my little brother and his demented boyfriend claim me to be. I also promise that I will let you out of the house once or twice a week and, if you like, we can make the kitchen table unusable for them to eat off of."

Laughing, Deidara leaned over the till, "Why don't we build up to that."

"So dinner is on?"

"Pick me up at seven," Deidara answered as he wrote his address down, or more like Sasori's since he was staying there for the time being.  
"Alright. I'll see you then," Itachi said pocketing the piece of paper and moving to the door, as he took a step out he stopped and turned, "By the way, the kiss... very hot."

"No duh, I'm an amazing kisser. One taste of these lips and you're hooked."

"You can say that again." Itachi nodded and moved to let someone else in. "See you at seven."

With a sigh, Deidara watched Itachi walk toward a black car where Sasuke and Naruto were already making out. Maybe staying here wouldn't be so bad. Sure he'd have to deal with Kisame, for without a doubt he'd come back, but he'd also get to know Itachi.

"Welcome to 'Drinks!', what can I get for you?" he asked, turning to his newest customer. Yeah, maybe he'd stay a little longer and maybe he should call Sasori and tell him to take all the time he needed to relax. Sasori did work too hard anyway.


End file.
